Disappointed

Last weekend, me and my sister decided to try selling some Corndog and drinks at Latib's Kolam Pancing.  He had told us previously via a phone conversation that there will be no others food and drinks stall. So we decided it is a good opportunity to set up an F&B stall. Unfortunately, he lied.  I am annoyed to this day. There is no worst misfortune that can defeat having a bad father.

Mirror Like Friend

 Hey Good Morning Kaisya, Yeah I know yesterday is such a roller coaster ride. Truthfully I am quite surprised to see myself in another person. For example, my mental illness about Bipolar Disorder has been a major setback for me to achieve and accomplish anything. Seeing is believing that is what everyone has said before. Now I have seen it and I believe it. The way people with Bipolar Disorder feel is different from normal people. They always feel more than others. If they are sad it's like the whole world crumbles into nothingness. If they are happy they feel like they are on cloud nine. 

Living my day

 Hey, I have been away for quite some time now. I actually missed something in my life. These past few months have been turbulence for me and the people around me. Last night, for some reason I don't know why I missed my soulmate(LCJI). Well, it's quite common to miss a person from time to time.

Lately, I have questioned my life plan. I have lots of doubts too. At the age of 27 years old what have I accomplished? Then the next question is am I will ever be ready to migrate to Spain in 5 years? Am I going to be a Chess Grandmaster 10 years from now? How do I achieve these goals? 

I need to build and accumulate tiny good habits every day. I really need to do that. Loving myself is just not enough anymore. I chose to focus on 1 thing in life which is my Chess career. My next big thing is to get that National Master title. 2022 is not that far away. For once in my life, I need to stop thinking that I still got time to leisure around. I watched a Netflix movie last night and the movie got to me. The movie basically got me thinking that time does not wait for anybody. I need to chase time. I am not getting younger. I am getting older by second, minutes, hours, days, months, and years. 

Those who fail to plan is planning to fail. Therefore I am going to plan my life, for real this time. Planing is about a rough sketch at first, then it will become a clearer picture. I already decided that the first thing going in my rough plan is;

1. Finished a book every month.

2. Play 10 chess games per day.

3. Morning Coffee or Tea.

4. Night Self-care routine.

5. Morning daily entry journal.